Good morning everyone! Going to try a little different time slot/topic for a post today. I've been attempting to have a work/life balance recently. This includes having a social life, meeting new people, hanging out with the folks who care about me and enjoying my free time. In an attempt to do this I've had some dates with a couple of young women in the past 3ish months. It's definitely cool to put myself out there, since it's been a while. I've spent so much time focused on work, and just trying to get by, that I've failed to actually live the life that I want to live. I thought I was being responsible by doing this, and I was, but I also missed out on so much. BIG mistake. That's being corrected right now, and I must say that I am a fool for spending so much time focused on those things. Lesson learned, I hope.
I guess the main reason for me writing this post is to get some stuff off my chest in regards to my past, when it comes to romance. Everyone knows that I am a pretty emotional guy, and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve more often than not. I've made great strides in calming these outer emotions, and building a tougher exterior to keep them in check. So far it's working pretty well! That being said, I've had some stuff happen (bullying mainly) in the past that has caused me to build up some internal walls that keep me from being myself around people that I don't know. I won't get into specifics, but if you would like to ask me please feel free. That makes dating really difficult, oddly enough.Recently I've started to slowly tear those down so that people can get to know me on a deeper level. I've already been on more dates in the last 3 months than I've been on in the last 5 years. I think that's a sign that those walls are being overcome. I still have a long way to go, and I'll be the first to admit that, but dammit if it isn't cool to see progress actually happening!
I'm going to share something with you guys that only a few people know. Despite all of the progress with these internal walls, they still tend to keep me from getting "physical" in a relationship. For those who know me, and have worked with, what I'm about to say next should come as no surprise, but I think I need to get this out in an effort to help overcome these walls. I've never had sex. Yep, that's right, I said it. I know this is nothing to be ashamed of, but it does weigh on my mind heavily. That being said, I've had a couple of chances with some women, but I refuse to even come close to taking advantage of a drunk woman. I literally would not be able to live with myself. I just wanted to get that off my chest. That being said, I don't want it to sound like I'm just here trying to get laid, that's not the case at all. I'm just attempting to move on from what's held me back in the past, and I think this will be a huge help.
I'm testing the waters again after being out of the game for a looooonnnng time. It's been fun and stressful at times, but it's worth it just to be putting myself out there! I've been so ingrained in work recently that I've struggled to break away and live my life. At this point I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but I'll find that sooner or later. It's kind of cool to have a social life again, and I've got my friends to thank for always inviting me out on weekends. Makes life that much easier when there are folks who care. Anyway, until next time folks!
-Hunter
