Good evening everyone, and happy Easter! I hope everyone got to spend some good quality time with family today. I figured I was overdue for a blog post, so here we are again! I've been having a lot of ups and downs lately. I'm not exactly sure what's causing it, but my mood sure is swinging. Who knows what will finally get my head right, but I know it's going to take a lot of work on my end to get things straight. This blog is one of the things that has helped me vent and get some things off of my chest. It's so relieving to get some of my thoughts out and see what others have to say about it.
For a while I've been wondering if I'm deserving of this life that I have. I've been down on myself more than normal lately thinking about that. I guess the reason I'm so hard on myself is because I need to be the best man that I can be, and I've been failing miserably at this lately. I've got an amazing life, a good job, a loving family, great friends and my health is alright. My Instagram page is a collection of the good times that I do have, but I keep feeling like I'm missing out on something. It's very selfish of me to want more than I have, but that's how I feel right now. Time will tell what I'm truly missing, but until then I've got to keep searching!
I have a tendency to pour some of myself into the lives of people I truly care about. I try to get to know them and their families/friends on a deeper level than normal folks, or at least that's what I'd like to think. It brings me joy to care about someone besides myself. I genuinely care about all of my friends and family, and I'd do anything for a good bit of them. Does that make me weird, probably. Do I care how people view me for thinking this way, no. It's a way that I try to show that I care about my friends and family. I try to help out where I can in anyone's life that will let me, but I've never truly had that feeling returned to me until about a 6-7 weeks ago.
I've gone through life helping out everyone as I could and never expecting anything in return. Then out of the blue people began reaching out to me about the issues I've been going through. There is nothing more humbling to see that happen. I'm not sure what I've done to deserve any of the good things that have happened to me recently, but I'm trying to do what I can to repay that debt.One by one I'm hoping to pay back the immense show of support I was given, and I hope that I never stop giving. I really do...
Of course it would probably help if I could pour myself into another person's life that was meant to be the one. I'm still on that hunt, and who knows how long I'll be doing that. I hope to one day find someone to spend the rest of my life with, but for now I'll just wait patiently. I've sought a lot of advice on this subject, and almost everyone has told me to just be patient. I actually went on a date last week, and I thought it went well, but as it turns out it probably wasn't meant to be. Another one of life's tests, and I'm not sure if I passed or failed. That's another blog post altogether, ha!
Regardless I'm certainly finding out who my friends are through this whole ordeal of depression/stomach pains that has been going on since October. It's amazing what putting yourself out there to the ones who love you can do. Don't be afraid to ask questions, especially to those you really trust. You never know, you could find the answer you've been looking for all along. I just want to say that if anyone who reads this blog ever needs anything from me, just let me know. I may not be able to help 100%, but I'll give it my best effort!
Until next time,
Hunter
P.S., at the advice of my good friend Jenna, I think I'm going to start writing a "parallel" blog to this one. I do love a good craft beer, and hearing her mention this has hatched an idea in my head. I think I'm going to start writing a blog about craft beer in the near future to go with this one. Let me know what you think of that idea!
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Simple as....
Hello everyone! Long delay between posts this time, and for that I apologize. I've had a lot going on, and haven't really been feeling like myself lately. I went to the doctor two weeks ago due to some side effects of some medicine I'm on. We've switched it up, but I'm still feeling like a shell of my former self. I'm working on that with the help of some good folks that I have the pleasure of calling friends. Like I've said before, and keep hearing from everyone, this is is a process and it won't get fixed overnight. There are some things I need to work out on my own, but that's a post for another day. For now I want to dedicate this blog post to my awesome friends, family and everyone else who has reached out to me recently.
I feel like I keep saying the same stuff over and over, but it's true. I guess my friends and family mean that much to me. Everyone that has reached out to me recently via the phone, Facebook, Twitter, email, etc has been amazing. I've gone through my whole life trying to be the best possible person I can be, and I've failed at that miserably. I might be hard on myself most of the time, but I know that I could have done so much better with everything I've done up until now. I'm not saying that I regret anything, but I know I can be a much better friend, brother, son and all that other stuff I am.
I was raised to put others before myself and treat them the best way that I know how to. While I have tried to be as selfless as possible I know that I don't always put others before myself. I say this because the sermon at church this morning was talking about selflessness. It made me realize that while I might put others before myself most of the time I am selfish too. I need to work on this to become a better person in general.
I've gone through life helping people as much as I can and never expecting anything in return to those I help. That's the definition of a true friend, in my opinion. I try so much to help out whoever I can whenever I can, but I know that I am capable of so much more. I say all this because I've recently been experiencing this sensation I've been trying to help give out to everyone most of my life. I've had so many people reach out and offer support just by saying, "You know I'm here for you if you ever need me." That is one of the most selfless things anyone can say. I've reached out to a lot of people over the past few months and the responses I've gotten back have been uplifting, to say the least.
In all sincerity, I don't know what I'd do or where I'd be without this amazing outpouring of support in what seems like the darkest times of my life. This whole blogging thing was recommended to me by a few friends. It's become almost like a journal for me to get what's in my head out, for the world to see and read. I'm seriously amazed. It's as simple as just opening up and letting people who love you in to help. It's a shame that it's taken me almost 26 years to realize that. I've grown so much through this dark time, and I can take none of the credit. Friends are an awesome thing to have, and even through my hectic mood swings I know they'll be there for me, through it all. I've got an amazing support group, and I can only hope to return the plethora of support I've received through this whole ordeal.
It's getting better, and some days are better than others, but I've always been a firm believer in this saying: "You've got to have the bad days to truly appreciate the good." With all that being said the bad days are getting easier to bear because of my support group. The good are just that, good if not great. One day I'll be back to my normal self, but until then I'll just keep pushing forward and trying to be the best possible person I can be, while being a selfless friend who puts others in front of them. I hope everyone has a good week, and until next time;
Peace,
Hunter
I feel like I keep saying the same stuff over and over, but it's true. I guess my friends and family mean that much to me. Everyone that has reached out to me recently via the phone, Facebook, Twitter, email, etc has been amazing. I've gone through my whole life trying to be the best possible person I can be, and I've failed at that miserably. I might be hard on myself most of the time, but I know that I could have done so much better with everything I've done up until now. I'm not saying that I regret anything, but I know I can be a much better friend, brother, son and all that other stuff I am.
I was raised to put others before myself and treat them the best way that I know how to. While I have tried to be as selfless as possible I know that I don't always put others before myself. I say this because the sermon at church this morning was talking about selflessness. It made me realize that while I might put others before myself most of the time I am selfish too. I need to work on this to become a better person in general.
I've gone through life helping people as much as I can and never expecting anything in return to those I help. That's the definition of a true friend, in my opinion. I try so much to help out whoever I can whenever I can, but I know that I am capable of so much more. I say all this because I've recently been experiencing this sensation I've been trying to help give out to everyone most of my life. I've had so many people reach out and offer support just by saying, "You know I'm here for you if you ever need me." That is one of the most selfless things anyone can say. I've reached out to a lot of people over the past few months and the responses I've gotten back have been uplifting, to say the least.
In all sincerity, I don't know what I'd do or where I'd be without this amazing outpouring of support in what seems like the darkest times of my life. This whole blogging thing was recommended to me by a few friends. It's become almost like a journal for me to get what's in my head out, for the world to see and read. I'm seriously amazed. It's as simple as just opening up and letting people who love you in to help. It's a shame that it's taken me almost 26 years to realize that. I've grown so much through this dark time, and I can take none of the credit. Friends are an awesome thing to have, and even through my hectic mood swings I know they'll be there for me, through it all. I've got an amazing support group, and I can only hope to return the plethora of support I've received through this whole ordeal.
It's getting better, and some days are better than others, but I've always been a firm believer in this saying: "You've got to have the bad days to truly appreciate the good." With all that being said the bad days are getting easier to bear because of my support group. The good are just that, good if not great. One day I'll be back to my normal self, but until then I'll just keep pushing forward and trying to be the best possible person I can be, while being a selfless friend who puts others in front of them. I hope everyone has a good week, and until next time;
Peace,
Hunter
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