Good evening everyone! It's been a little while since I've written a post, and I figured now would be as good a time as any. I've had a lot going on to keep me busy, most of it good, but some of it not so good. If I've learned anything over the past few months it's that life gets tough some times. It's all about how you react to what challenges are thrown your way. In the past I would've moved to alcohol or gone down into a deep depression. I'm happy to say that I've moved on from those types of reactions. It's as much about personal growth as it is about the support I've received from those people who honestly care and want me to succeed. This post is about you guys. Sure I'm going to talk about myself and what's been going on, but I've found out recently that while I may have grown more as a person in the last 18 months, it's the constant support and encouragement from my friends and family that keeps me going.
I've been handed so many different kinds of advice recently, and it has honestly been amazing to see how much people care about me. It definitely make everything worth it at the end of the day. I've had my doubts about my career and path in life recently, but dammit if you guys haven't been there to help me along the way. Whether it's a tough day at work, troubles at home or even relationship advice, you guys have been there to help if I ever need anything. I know who honestly cares about me, and I can only hope I reciprocate that in some way shape or form. If not them I am failing you as a friend.
The number one lesson that I've learned from everyone is this: life simply goes on. To use my mother's words, "Forget about the past, say FUCK IT, it's done, and move on. No sense getting worked up over things out of your control." This is something that I've struggled with in the past, and continue to struggle with to this day. I think I've gotten much better at not getting caught up in the moment, but the past couple of weeks have left me feeling otherwise. At the end of the day I know that I've done my best, but I still feel like I have so much more to do/give. I'm always my biggest critic, and that never really helps. That being said, after some conversations over the last week I know that I'm not the only one who does this. That's a comforting thought, to say the least. I have an old coworker who told me to write my biggest worries for the day on a sticky note, and when I woke up each morning to throw them away and forget about them. Elegantly simple, haha. My friend Rhonda told me the other day to put all your worries in a "bucket" and when you leave work, or a stressful environment, to empty the "bucket" and don't bring it home with you. That simple metaphor is awesome. I'm definitely going to be using that going forward!
Through all of this I have learned that it's OK to be a little tough on yourself sometimes. It's about picking yourself back up and moving forward. That's the peace that I'm gaining throughout this. Sure I may stumble and fall, but I know that there are people who care enough to reach out and help me if I do fall too hard. I've come so far in such a short amount of time thanks to the love and kindness of my friends and family. That, to me, is absolutely amazing. It's also part of what makes life worth living! I'm confident that one day I'll be able to learn enough ways to deal with these kinds of stressful situations to never have to worry about how they will affect my life. It's crazy to me that I'm saying that, when not too long ago I was wondering if I could keep going at all. That is thanks to you all who have had a hand in helping me along the way. Whether it was a text, call, comment or post, you guys have had such a huge impact on me. I am amazed at this, and can only hope that I can assist in some way in the future. That's the least I can do.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Monday, September 7, 2015
Overcoming life's obstalces
Good evening y'all! I haven't posted in a while so I thought I would write a quick little update on where I'm at in the world. One word to describe me at the moment, HAPPY... Yes, you read that correctly. I'm happy with where I'm at in my own mind, and in the world. Sure there are things that can be improved, and I'm working on those constantly. I also just got a promotion at work, so that's definitely a positive. Looking back over the last year and a half I can honestly say that I'm proud of where I've ended up. I have had an amazing support group who has kept me going, and in all honesty I don't think I'd still be here if it wasn't for you gals and guys!
Despite everything that I've been through in the last 18 months, and all of the hardships (both mental and physical) I actually feel like I've made significant improvements in my life. I still get anxious and nervous, but I've found ways to cope with it and overcome it. Right now the most effective way for me is to "get physical" and vent the stress by running/biking/playing soccer/swimming or even walking. It's amazing what a little exercise can do for the mind! I've also been attempting to take steps back and look at the big picture when I get stressed. I'm also learning that it's ok to ask for help, and that I'm not in this alone. That's true about work and everything else in my life. It just took me 27 damn years to learn that, ha!
I've also started eating better. This is something that kind of started with the exercise thing. I still have a ways to go with this, but I've started eating vegetables, fruits, grains and all kinds of meals that I cook myself. I think that's something that has also helped. There is something mentally calming about cooking. The rewards are definitely worth the effort too.
I'm putting myself out there now too. I've become a more outgoing and even went on a date not too long ago. Crazy, I know. Anyway, I'm attempting to find a work/life balance, and me becoming more outgoing is definitely putting me on the right path to that. Anyway, that's where I'm at, and until next time.
-Hunter
Despite everything that I've been through in the last 18 months, and all of the hardships (both mental and physical) I actually feel like I've made significant improvements in my life. I still get anxious and nervous, but I've found ways to cope with it and overcome it. Right now the most effective way for me is to "get physical" and vent the stress by running/biking/playing soccer/swimming or even walking. It's amazing what a little exercise can do for the mind! I've also been attempting to take steps back and look at the big picture when I get stressed. I'm also learning that it's ok to ask for help, and that I'm not in this alone. That's true about work and everything else in my life. It just took me 27 damn years to learn that, ha!
I've also started eating better. This is something that kind of started with the exercise thing. I still have a ways to go with this, but I've started eating vegetables, fruits, grains and all kinds of meals that I cook myself. I think that's something that has also helped. There is something mentally calming about cooking. The rewards are definitely worth the effort too.
I'm putting myself out there now too. I've become a more outgoing and even went on a date not too long ago. Crazy, I know. Anyway, I'm attempting to find a work/life balance, and me becoming more outgoing is definitely putting me on the right path to that. Anyway, that's where I'm at, and until next time.
-Hunter
Friday, May 8, 2015
Long time away....
Wowie, it's been a long time since I've written a post. 6 months and one week to be (almost) exact... Geez. My apologies. I will do my best to post more often. This is a slightly inebriated post, btw. I feel like I need to update y'all on where I'm at. No better time like the present, in my opinion.
What's happened in the last 6 months? I've moved to an apartment on my own, I have my own car that I'm buying and I'm just trying to make my way in the world. It's tough some days, especially living on my own. I sometime slip into some dark places, but I'm pretty proud that I keep pulling myself back out of them. They're fewer and further between, if that makes any dang sense... As much as I sometimes despise living by myself, I feel like it's necessary for me to do this at this point in my life. If I can do this I can just about do anything, and that's the ultimate test. So far so good, I'm happy to say!
I do want to say that I owe all of this advancement/growth to my family and friends. About a year ago I was ready to end it all, and thanks to a select group of friends and family I'm still here today. There was an issue with work and some co-workers took it upon themselves to help me out of this predicament. They called my mom, who then called me and talked me down from where I was. When I say that I was close to ending I mean that I was hours away from going and buying a gun and ending it all. Is that too much, possibly. But I now know that's not ever going to happen, thanks to family and friends. Family extends to the co-workers who I did not even know 3 years ago. I can never express my gratitude to them, but I sure try every day. If you happen to be a co-worker who is reading this then you know who you are, and I can never ever say thank you enough.
That being said, I also have to say (write) a massive thanks to my close friends and family as well who I've known for a little longer than 3 years. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I wouldn't be where I am without you guys and girls. It's amazing how a dude like me can have such a support system, but I'm here today because of it. I can't say thanks enough, and I'll continue to do everything I can to keep myself moving forward, since you guys have worked so hard to keep me going. I'm forever grateful, and I can never ever ever say thank you enough. From the bottom of my heart, and with all my soul, you guys are the reason I'm still here, and that's the honest truth...
Til next time,
Hunter
What's happened in the last 6 months? I've moved to an apartment on my own, I have my own car that I'm buying and I'm just trying to make my way in the world. It's tough some days, especially living on my own. I sometime slip into some dark places, but I'm pretty proud that I keep pulling myself back out of them. They're fewer and further between, if that makes any dang sense... As much as I sometimes despise living by myself, I feel like it's necessary for me to do this at this point in my life. If I can do this I can just about do anything, and that's the ultimate test. So far so good, I'm happy to say!
I do want to say that I owe all of this advancement/growth to my family and friends. About a year ago I was ready to end it all, and thanks to a select group of friends and family I'm still here today. There was an issue with work and some co-workers took it upon themselves to help me out of this predicament. They called my mom, who then called me and talked me down from where I was. When I say that I was close to ending I mean that I was hours away from going and buying a gun and ending it all. Is that too much, possibly. But I now know that's not ever going to happen, thanks to family and friends. Family extends to the co-workers who I did not even know 3 years ago. I can never express my gratitude to them, but I sure try every day. If you happen to be a co-worker who is reading this then you know who you are, and I can never ever say thank you enough.
That being said, I also have to say (write) a massive thanks to my close friends and family as well who I've known for a little longer than 3 years. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I wouldn't be where I am without you guys and girls. It's amazing how a dude like me can have such a support system, but I'm here today because of it. I can't say thanks enough, and I'll continue to do everything I can to keep myself moving forward, since you guys have worked so hard to keep me going. I'm forever grateful, and I can never ever ever say thank you enough. From the bottom of my heart, and with all my soul, you guys are the reason I'm still here, and that's the honest truth...
Til next time,
Hunter
Sunday, November 16, 2014
13.1
Good afternoon everyone! Sorry for not posting anything for almost 2 months. I've been crazy busy with work, and that's occupied most of my time. Things are going well with me. I've just been trying to make it out here in the real world. It's tough sometimes, but I love a challenge. I'm trying to take everything in stride and grow as a person every day.
With that being said, I think I've decided to take on a major challenge, and it'll likely be the most difficult thing I've attempted in my life. I was recently talking to a good friend on the phone and he mentioned he was running in a half marathon in March. Of course me being the crazy person I am decided it would be a good idea to try and run the half marathon too.
I'm not exactly sure if I'll successfully run 13.1 miles, but I've got about 4 months to get into shape. That should be enough time to get in some kind of running shape. I'm taking it upon myself to train 5-6 days a week. I'm no running expert, so I've got some research to do before I get too far into training. I don't have any delusions about this, I just think it's a great way to help with getting in shape and staying on track with my weight loss goals. Killing quite a few birds with one stone with this crazy plan.
We'll see how it goes. I'll try to update on my progress regularly on here. If anyone has any tips feel free to share. Who knows, maybe I'll find a new hobby in the process of training for this half marathon. Have a good one y'all, and goodbye until next time.
-Hunter
With that being said, I think I've decided to take on a major challenge, and it'll likely be the most difficult thing I've attempted in my life. I was recently talking to a good friend on the phone and he mentioned he was running in a half marathon in March. Of course me being the crazy person I am decided it would be a good idea to try and run the half marathon too.
I'm not exactly sure if I'll successfully run 13.1 miles, but I've got about 4 months to get into shape. That should be enough time to get in some kind of running shape. I'm taking it upon myself to train 5-6 days a week. I'm no running expert, so I've got some research to do before I get too far into training. I don't have any delusions about this, I just think it's a great way to help with getting in shape and staying on track with my weight loss goals. Killing quite a few birds with one stone with this crazy plan.
We'll see how it goes. I'll try to update on my progress regularly on here. If anyone has any tips feel free to share. Who knows, maybe I'll find a new hobby in the process of training for this half marathon. Have a good one y'all, and goodbye until next time.
-Hunter
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Grinding
Good afternoon everyone! Hope your weekend has been pleasant in this lovely weather. I'm going to try and get back into the swing of posting on this blog normally, now that I've got both hands almost back to 100%. That being said, we'll see how diligent I am at keeping up with that schedule, ha.
The reason I'm writing this post is a little different than my previous posts. I've been giving a lot of time and effort to my work recently, and it seems like a never ending storm that never gets any better. You won't hear me complaining too much outside of work about my job, it pays the bills and my coworkers are flipping amazing. I give my all day in and day out, since that's the only way I know. Anyway, after putting in 60 hours and working yesterday I felt like I was burning myself out. I woke up today with a new outlook however.
I'm 26 years old, and nothing is given to people my age. We've got to work our, pardon my language, asses off to make it in this world. This week was nothing but a test of my mettle, and I'd like to think passed that test, but I can't judge that myself. I work my tail off to make a name for myself, and I'm blessed to be surrounded by people in my department who are in it for the same reasons. No matter what my job throws at us, which is my coworkers and myself, we're going to work to overcome the adversity. Mainly because we're all too damn hardheaded and stubborn to know another way to work.
We look after each other day in and day out to make sure the work gets done. There is no "down time" in my job. If there is then something isn't right. That being said, I don't know if I'd still be here if it wasn't for their constant encouragement and kind words. They've been like a second family to me, and I'll never be able to pay them back for everything that they've done for me.
I'll keep on keeping on, and put my nose to the grindstone. Working my tail off is something I've always tried to do, and I will never stop. I'm too stubborn to know anything better. I'm just hoping this commitment carries over to this weight loss thing I'm trying. Who knows what the future holds, but I'll greet it with welcome arms and take the challenges as they come.
Til next time,
Hunter
The reason I'm writing this post is a little different than my previous posts. I've been giving a lot of time and effort to my work recently, and it seems like a never ending storm that never gets any better. You won't hear me complaining too much outside of work about my job, it pays the bills and my coworkers are flipping amazing. I give my all day in and day out, since that's the only way I know. Anyway, after putting in 60 hours and working yesterday I felt like I was burning myself out. I woke up today with a new outlook however.
I'm 26 years old, and nothing is given to people my age. We've got to work our, pardon my language, asses off to make it in this world. This week was nothing but a test of my mettle, and I'd like to think passed that test, but I can't judge that myself. I work my tail off to make a name for myself, and I'm blessed to be surrounded by people in my department who are in it for the same reasons. No matter what my job throws at us, which is my coworkers and myself, we're going to work to overcome the adversity. Mainly because we're all too damn hardheaded and stubborn to know another way to work.
We look after each other day in and day out to make sure the work gets done. There is no "down time" in my job. If there is then something isn't right. That being said, I don't know if I'd still be here if it wasn't for their constant encouragement and kind words. They've been like a second family to me, and I'll never be able to pay them back for everything that they've done for me.
I'll keep on keeping on, and put my nose to the grindstone. Working my tail off is something I've always tried to do, and I will never stop. I'm too stubborn to know anything better. I'm just hoping this commitment carries over to this weight loss thing I'm trying. Who knows what the future holds, but I'll greet it with welcome arms and take the challenges as they come.
Til next time,
Hunter
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Lately...
Good evening everyone. I know it's been a while since I've posted. Had a broken hand since July and have been saving my typing for work. I'm expected to get the all clear this week so I figured I'd go ahead and post again. I've been doing better, I guess. The depression comes and goes, but it's less frequent and severe, so that's a good thing. I've just been trying to keep a more positive outlook on life recently. It's too precious and special to just let it slip away.
I guess I've come to learn that from my therapy sessions and just taking time to think about life in general. I've got a lot of folks to thank for turning me around, and I won't name names, but if you've reached out to me through this time then you're one of them! Progress is progress, and while I may doubt myself some days (less nowadays than a few months ago), I know that I've got people who depend on me. Whether it's my family or friends, I know that they're there to help me, just as I try to help them when I'm needed. Writing that out, it sounds so simple, but I know it isn't. It's taken me a while to realize that while I keep on giving to help others out, people have also been helping me through this tough time. I can't say thanks enough, because it did get pretty dark there for a while. I'll be the first to admit that.
In therapy we've been talking about ways to deal with stress and anxiety. One way for males to vent is to "get physical." Whether it's working out or just walking around for a little while in the middle of a stressful situation. I was beginning to work out and be more active when I broke my hand playing soccer (yes you read that correctly). Long story short I got kicked on both sides of the hand at the same time and fractured the fifth metacarpal in my right hand. Was in a hard cast for 3 weeks, removable cast for 6, and I should get the all clear to begin strenuous physical activity again on Thursday.
That being said I think it's time to share something that I haven't really told anyone. I've lost about 40 pounds this year, which has put me around 240 pounds. My goal by the end of next year is to be down around 180. It's going to be tough, but I think if I give it my all I can do it. I've got to start eating better or my body might turn on me. Now if I could just find me a girlfriend I think I'd be right as rain, ha! That's a story for another day my friends. Anyway, hope everyone that reads this has been well. Til next time.
Hunter
I guess I've come to learn that from my therapy sessions and just taking time to think about life in general. I've got a lot of folks to thank for turning me around, and I won't name names, but if you've reached out to me through this time then you're one of them! Progress is progress, and while I may doubt myself some days (less nowadays than a few months ago), I know that I've got people who depend on me. Whether it's my family or friends, I know that they're there to help me, just as I try to help them when I'm needed. Writing that out, it sounds so simple, but I know it isn't. It's taken me a while to realize that while I keep on giving to help others out, people have also been helping me through this tough time. I can't say thanks enough, because it did get pretty dark there for a while. I'll be the first to admit that.
In therapy we've been talking about ways to deal with stress and anxiety. One way for males to vent is to "get physical." Whether it's working out or just walking around for a little while in the middle of a stressful situation. I was beginning to work out and be more active when I broke my hand playing soccer (yes you read that correctly). Long story short I got kicked on both sides of the hand at the same time and fractured the fifth metacarpal in my right hand. Was in a hard cast for 3 weeks, removable cast for 6, and I should get the all clear to begin strenuous physical activity again on Thursday.
That being said I think it's time to share something that I haven't really told anyone. I've lost about 40 pounds this year, which has put me around 240 pounds. My goal by the end of next year is to be down around 180. It's going to be tough, but I think if I give it my all I can do it. I've got to start eating better or my body might turn on me. Now if I could just find me a girlfriend I think I'd be right as rain, ha! That's a story for another day my friends. Anyway, hope everyone that reads this has been well. Til next time.
Hunter
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Times they are a changing....
Good evening everyone, hope all is well with you. I've been having a rough week, the only bright spots being birthday celebrations. Between insurance changing at work and doubling in cost, working a little too much and my complete ineptitude when it comes to women, it's been a hell of a week. That being said, I can't look back on that, I've just got to take the experiences I've had this week, apply the good and get the bad out. All of this stress I've been feeling is trying to take over, but through my therapy I'm slowly learning to deal with it in a healthy way, or at least we hope it continues that way!
Speaking of therapy, something we talked about last week really hit home. We were speaking about the goals I had for therapy, and how we were going to work to achieve them. For whatever reason the doctor stopped in mid explanation to tell me an observation he had about me in our short time together. He said, "Hunter I think I can piece something together about you just from the conversations that we've had. When people love you, you like yourself alright, but when people hate you you feel like the worst person on the Earth." He hit the nail on the head. I don't know why I'm that way, but I can't help it. I always over analyze every little thing that happens, from a two second conversation to a 30 minute phone call. My mind is wired to, what I like to call, "hyper-analyze" every thing. It's a blessing and a curse at the same damn time, unfortunately.
Who knows when I'll finally be over that, but I'm trying to get better. Everyone has told me that they can tell a difference, so that's a start. Luckily my support group is still really strong, from my coworkers(who are a second family to me!) and friends, to my family, I know that I've always got people who are pushing me to get better, and who genuinely care. That's something that is, and always will be gratifying to see. I like to think I'm a good friend most of the time, but man some of my friends are making me realize there is so much more that I can do!
I felt like I needed to say that, just in case there are people out there who don't realize how much they really mean to me. I honestly feel that I wouldn't be here without your support. I came close to ending it all about 3 months ago, but I was helped through that tough time by everyone I call my friend/family. My thanks will never be enough to repay that, and I mean that with my entire being.
At the end of the day I'm just a (somewhat) normal dude who may care to much about what people think, but that's gotten me this far in life. I truly can see the therapy working, and it's always good when you're therapist says he'll work with you even though he doesn't take your new insurance. We've still got a lot of work to do, and the journey will get harder before the end, but I'm committed to trying to see this out and come out better for it. I'm always up for a challenge, and this may be the hardest one in my life. Who says I can't rise above it and come out on top in the end.
Until next time,
Hunter
Speaking of therapy, something we talked about last week really hit home. We were speaking about the goals I had for therapy, and how we were going to work to achieve them. For whatever reason the doctor stopped in mid explanation to tell me an observation he had about me in our short time together. He said, "Hunter I think I can piece something together about you just from the conversations that we've had. When people love you, you like yourself alright, but when people hate you you feel like the worst person on the Earth." He hit the nail on the head. I don't know why I'm that way, but I can't help it. I always over analyze every little thing that happens, from a two second conversation to a 30 minute phone call. My mind is wired to, what I like to call, "hyper-analyze" every thing. It's a blessing and a curse at the same damn time, unfortunately.
Who knows when I'll finally be over that, but I'm trying to get better. Everyone has told me that they can tell a difference, so that's a start. Luckily my support group is still really strong, from my coworkers(who are a second family to me!) and friends, to my family, I know that I've always got people who are pushing me to get better, and who genuinely care. That's something that is, and always will be gratifying to see. I like to think I'm a good friend most of the time, but man some of my friends are making me realize there is so much more that I can do!
I felt like I needed to say that, just in case there are people out there who don't realize how much they really mean to me. I honestly feel that I wouldn't be here without your support. I came close to ending it all about 3 months ago, but I was helped through that tough time by everyone I call my friend/family. My thanks will never be enough to repay that, and I mean that with my entire being.
At the end of the day I'm just a (somewhat) normal dude who may care to much about what people think, but that's gotten me this far in life. I truly can see the therapy working, and it's always good when you're therapist says he'll work with you even though he doesn't take your new insurance. We've still got a lot of work to do, and the journey will get harder before the end, but I'm committed to trying to see this out and come out better for it. I'm always up for a challenge, and this may be the hardest one in my life. Who says I can't rise above it and come out on top in the end.
Until next time,
Hunter
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)